8 lessons every Pakistani parent can learn from ‘Secret Superstar’

DUBAI: Aamir Khan and Zaira Wasim team up again and this time, if I may be so bold to say, it’s even better than Dangal. Written and directed by Advait Chandan (who worked with Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao before in Dhobi Ghaat and Taare Zameen Par), the film is a powerful and heartrending story of a young talented girl and the various understandably real problems she faces in fulfilling her dream of becoming a singer.

While Dangal was the story of a father and his daughters and how he helps them fight, literally and metaphorically, Secret Superstar is based on another parent-child relationship where similar themes of love and triumph are woven beautifully together into a strong script and compelling characters.

Here are a few things every Pakistani parent can learn about the bond between a daughter and a mother from the heartwarming film. Emphasis on ‘Pakistani’ because it’s all too common in our country to clip our children’s wings and thwart their personal life goals and dreams…

[Fair warning: spoilers ahead]

1) It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a lot of money, having a great bond with your family is worth its weight in gold.

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In Secret Superstar, Zaira Wasim’s character, “Insia” is a girl from a lower-middle class background and she is seen having a great time with her mom, Najma (Meher Vij) and her younger brother Guddu. She and her mother and her brother go out for ice cream, watch television programmes together and laugh at funny YouTube videos. They find joy in small things, the inexpensive experiences and in the limited scope of their lives, they find happiness and joy.

2)  Even if our parents are technologically challenged, they can still think big and dream big.

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In this new age of gadgetry and information technology, a lot of our parents are still catching up. In this film, Zaira’s mother, Najma, has little to no idea about technology and how it works but it is she who gives Insia the idea of donning a burqa and singing so that Insia can sing to the world, which is what Insia wanted: for everyone to hear her voice.

3) Parents can instill a lot of confidence in their children to pursue their dreams even when the world is unable to appreciate them.

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Insia initially does not want to go ahead with the idea of wearing a burqa and singing but she goes ahead with it and her mother’s constant support and love help her reach millions of people. The thought of being an actor, musician, painter etc just doesn’t gel well with Pakistani parents. The emphasis is always given to pursuing, medicine, banking, law and engineering. Its time Pakistani parents saw the potential in their kids and encourage them regardless what they want to be in life. It is the kid’s life after all

4) Daughters are awesome!

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The movie sheds light onto the issue of gender discrimination in the society about how women are considered lesser than a man. This inferiority complex prevails in Pakistan, just like it does in India. Insia’s father pampers Guddu and often ignores Insia completely. But it is Insia who eventually helps Najma and Guddu live a better life with her amazing vocal skills.

5) Mothers, with their strength and kindness, can show and teach children a lot about love, tolerance and compassion.

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Insia’s father may have been an abusive father but Najma’s bright and kind nature makes both Insia and Guddu kind and loving human beings. Guddu tries to ‘gift’ Insia something that he tries to fix and amend himself; he overhears Insia and Najma conversing that their father values Guddu’s life more than Insia’s. Children can most certainly be moulded and fathers should take note – they should treat their wives, the mother of their children with the utmost respect and love. It’s going to help their kids form better relationships with their siblings and then later on with their own families.

6)  Sometimes parents get their courage from their children, courage they wouldn’t have had for themselves. And it can change their children’s lives.

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In the film, we find out more about Najma’s background. She’s someone who has had little to no education and is dependent, like many a lower middle class women, on her husband for survival. However, she loves her daughter very much and supports her dream of becoming a singer. She believes in giving her daughter the many dreams she wasn’t allowed to dream for herself. It is this love and courage that help Insia change her destiny.

7)  Children can survive the odds if they’ve got their parents rooting for them.

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Confidence instilled by parents helps children overcome many difficulties, if not all. In the film, we see Najma supporting Insia in every way she can. Despite having limited resources, Najma does whatever she can, in her scanty means, to help Insia. It’s not always about the money – it’s about being open to new things, trust, instilling confidence and then be that pillar of support your kid needs…

8)  If gifted children have parental support, they can do great things in the world.

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Talents like singing and dancing and music and acting are not considered as ‘good things’ in our society. Parents, in fact, discourage their children from taking these subjects up or even considering them seriously – millions of children across the subcontinent are forced to study sciences because it is considered the norm to compete in those fields. But if a child is gifted in the artistic sense, they can do wonders. Aamir Khan’s many films are based on these subject matters and it is a wonderful service his production house is doing for society: it is teaching parents that they need to understand their kids instead of forcing them to join an assembly line and crush their individuality.

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