I felt guilty putting my dad in a nursing home, but it brought us closer together | Jen McPherson

After my mother’s death, I tried to fool myself that I could look after him at a time in my life when I couldn’t even take of myself

I was 21 years old when my mother died in 2011. While this was sad, what was even more shattering was how my 75-year-old father aged overnight. Being alone made him fall into a deep depression. He needed to be around people constantly, loneliness was his nemesis, and there was no easy antidote. On his own, he would not always eat enough, or drink enough, and he was at risk of falling over.

On the verge of adulthood, I had no idea what to do regarding my father’s care. I had gone from studying Noam Chomsky at university to studying care facilities. At first, we tried an assisted living facility, which offered round-the-clock care while retaining a degree of independence. However, the loneliness was all too consuming. He neglected himself, and it soon became apparent that this was not the right place for him.

Jen McPherson is a student and freelance journalist

In the UK, the charity Mind is available on 0300 123 3393. In the US, Mental Health America is available on 800-273-8255. In Australia, support is available at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, and at MensLine on 1300 789 978.

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from The Guardian https://ift.tt/rWwLp7j